I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

...So I can call my wife and ask her where I left my glasses.

Are you a Valentine's Day heart-shaped balloon?

Because you're inflating my expectations of love and I don't want you to pop out of my life.

Is it hot in here, or is it just you?

Because my Valentine's chocolates are melting faster than my romantic expectations.

Are you a bouquet of flowers?

Because you take my breath away... and also make me sneeze uncontrollably.