Valentine's Day is when everyone celebrates finding their 'better half'.

I'm celebrating my 'better *alone* half' – the one who gets the whole couch and doesn't have to share snacks.

If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute-cumber.

But since it's Valentine's Day, I'd say you're a *sweet* potato!

Are you a love potion?

Because I'm under your spell... and now I can't find my car keys.

Are you a box of conversation hearts?

Because you're making my heart skip a beat and I want to candy-coat our love with sweet nothings