Why did the cranberry sauce go to therapy?

Because it was feeling a little jellied under the pressure!

The hardest part about Thanksgiving dinner at our house isn't the political debates or the burnt rolls.

It's trying to discreetly unbutton your pants under the table without anyone noticing.

Why did the head chef get a little nervous carving the Thanksgiving turkey this year?

He was afraid he'd just wing it.

Thanksgiving dinner at my house is a real test of endurance

because we don't just eat until we're full, we eat until we're separated by paramedics