I've been dating a girl who's a master gardener, and she's always trying to get me to help her with her roots, especially the ones that are really deep and need a lot of attention.

Now our relationship is really growing, and I'm finding myself getting wrapped up in her vines.

My friend, who's a professional trombonist, was telling me about the key to a really great performance. He said you have to get a firm grip on the slide, push and pull it with power and precision, and really blow hard and deep to make it sing.

He was showing me how to hit the high notes.

Why did the man bring a screwdriver on his first date?

He wanted to take things to the next level.

My golf game has really gone downhill lately.

My caddy told me I just need to remember two things: a firm grip and always finish in the hole.