My career counselor said I needed to figure out how to get ahead in life.

I told her I thought I was already quite proficient at it.

I've been taking private lessons to improve my penetration skills

Now I'm a champion archer

I've been dating a girl who's into erotic photography, and she asked me to pose for her.

Now I'm a model, but only in the classical sense – I'm only good for a few positions.

I told my date I was a master of seduction and could make any woman swoon.

She just laughed and said I was just a bass player.