I've been dating a girl who's a professional audiologist, and she's always trying to help me find my frequency.

But honestly, I think she's just trying to tune me out in bed.

I told my date I was a master of seduction and could make any woman swoon.

She just laughed and said I was just a bass player.

My girlfriend wanted to try role-playing in bed last night.

I told her I'd be the mailman, but she'd have to wait outside naked and I'd just leave the package on the porch.

My wife always tells me I'm terrible at home improvement projects.

But last night, she said I was really good at handling a stud.