I told my date I was a master of seduction and could make any woman swoon.

She just laughed and said I was just a bass player.

My career counselor said I needed to figure out how to get ahead in life.

I told her I thought I was already quite proficient at it.

Why did the escort bring a ladder on her date?

She wanted to take things to the next level.

My financial advisor told me I really needed to diversify my assets.

I told him, 'Don't worry, I already have a very well-rounded portfolio.'