I've been dating a girl who's a cartographer, and she's always trying to map out our relationship.

I guess you could say she's looking for a little more territory to explore.

I've been dating a girl who's into ghosting, which is weird because

I'm starting to think she's just into haunt-ing me after sex.

I've been dating a girl who's really into astrology, and she told me our love was written in the stars.

But honestly, I think our love life is more like a lunar cycle – it's all about the phases, and sometimes it's just a dark void for weeks.

My girlfriend asked me to fix a really stubborn clog in the shower last night. I had to get down on my knees, work it hard and deep with a long, flexible rod, and really thrust it in until it finally came loose.

The drain's running perfectly now, but I think I pulled a muscle.