My Valentine's Day plans involve a very deep, very passionate relationship...

...with an entire pizza I don't have to share.

Valentine's Day always makes me think of couples like competitive athletes...

...they spend all year casually dating, then on February 14th, it's suddenly the Olympics of romance.

Why did the chocolate go to the Valentine's Day party?

Because it wanted to melt some hearts

Why did the rose go to the florist on Valentine's Day?

Because it wanted to get to the root of its love life!