Why did the chocolate go to therapy on Valentine's Day?

Because it was feeling a little melted under the pressure

I've been trying to find the perfect way to spend Valentine's Day as a single person

And then I realized, it's just like any other Tuesday, but with more expensive flowers and judging looks from couples

Why did the coffee file a police report on Valentine's Day?

Because it got mugged by love

Do you have a Valentine's Day sweetheart?

Because you're a-maize-ing and I'm corny for you!