My financial advisor asked me about my long-term investments.

I told him, 'My houseplants. They're the only thing in my life consistently showing growth.'

My therapist told me I need healthier coping mechanisms.

So I started doom-scrolling for articles about healthy coping mechanisms.

I finally finished my masterpiece.

It's a spreadsheet tracking all my subscription services.

I love how our company says 'we're a family here'

except when it's performance review time and suddenly I'm a foster kid up for adoption