I'm trying to adult, but the housing market is tough

I've got a 401k, but it's just a list of 401 reasons I'll never own a home

My company said 'we're a family here,'

which explains why they treat me like the broke cousin who always has to pick up the check.

I've got so many side hustles,

my main job is starting to feel like a very expensive hobby.

They told me to get a side hustle.

Now I have three 'main' hustles and I'm still broke.