My dentist told me I needed a deep cleaning.

I told him I thought he was only interested in my teeth.

My financial advisor told me I really needed to diversify my assets.

I told him, 'Don't worry, I already have a very well-rounded portfolio.'

My girlfriend told me I need to be more supportive in our relationship, really hold her up and be her rock.

I told her, 'Honey, I've been supporting you on my face for weeks now.'

I've been dating a librarian, and she's always checking me out.