My friend, who's a master woodworker, told me the key to a really strong joint...

He said you have to get it perfectly aligned, drive it in deep, and apply plenty of pressure for a solid finish.

I've been dating a girl who's a talented cryptologist, and she's always trying to get me to crack her code.

But honestly, I think she's just looking for someone to decrypt her daddy issues.

I've been dating a librarian, and she's always checking me out.

I've been dating a girl who's a professional taxidermist, and she's always trying to get me to mount something that's been dead for a while.