My girlfriend asked me why I spend so much time on market research.

I told her I just really believe in customer satisfaction.

My neighbor called me over late last night, frantic because her pipes were really backed up. She said she needed a big, strong man to come over and give them a good pounding until everything started flowing freely again.

Turns out she just needed a plunger.

I've been dating a girl who's a sex therapist, and she's always trying to diagnose our problems in the bedroom.

But honestly, I think she's just trying to bill me by the hour.

My new photography teacher told me I really need to get a good grip on my equipment, keep my lens steady, find the perfect angle, and focus on getting a deep, satisfying shot.

She said it's crucial for capturing the essence of the landscape.