Why did the rose go to therapy on Valentine's Day?

Because it was feeling a little prickly about its relationships

This Valentine's Day, I'm really looking forward to flowers, chocolates, and someone telling me how special I am.

So I ordered myself a bouquet, bought a fancy box of truffles, and then just looked in the mirror.

Valentine's Day is when everyone celebrates finding their 'better half'.

I'm celebrating my 'better *alone* half' – the one who gets the whole couch and doesn't have to share snacks.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Because you just landed on my foot, and I'm pretty sure I heard something crack.