I've been taking sailing lessons from a beautiful instructor, and she's been teaching me about the importance of tacking, coming about, and making sharp turns to stay on course.

Now I'm hooked on her techniques, and she's helping me navigate the waters of intimacy, one buoy at a time.

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to be more adventurous in bed.

I said, 'Honey, I already tried that. Last week I spent twenty minutes looking for your clitoris.'

My girlfriend told me she loves our road trips.

She says she really enjoys the way the engine vibrates between her legs after a long, hot ride.

My girlfriend got mad at me because I can never remember where I put my keys, but I always know exactly where she keeps her vibrator.

I told her, 'Honey, one offers the remote possibility of getting me out of the house, the other offers some friendly competition.'