What did the grape say when it got invited to a Valentine's Day party?

I'm crushed that I have to decline, but I'd love to wine and dine with you another time

I've been trying to find the perfect Valentine's Day gift

but it's hard when the only person I'm shopping for is my cat, and all she wants is tuna

Why did the couple's love letter go to therapy on Valentine's Day?

Because it had a lot of 'expressed' emotions to work through.

Are you a love potion?

Because I'm under your spell... and now I can't find my car keys.