Why did the candy store owner love Valentine's Day?

Because it was a sweetheart of a deal.

What did the chocolate bar say to its sweetheart?

I'm nuts about you!

I'm not arguing that Valentine's Day is overrated, but

I just think it's a holiday created by florists and jewelers to make singles feel like they're in a real-life game of 'Monopoly' – paying rent, but no one's getting a free park.

Why did Cupid's arrow go to therapy?

Because it had a lot of 'pointed' issues to work through.