I tried to order a Valentine's Day dinner for one, but the restaurant had a special request

They asked if I wanted to upgrade to a pity party of two, with a complimentary side of tears

Are you a box of chocolates on Valentine's Day?

Because you're making my heart melt, and I think I'm nuts about you!

Why did the heart go to the doctor on Valentine's Day?

Because it had a few heartaches to work through and wanted a love-ly checkup

If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute-cumber...

...but I'm really looking for a beet, because I heard they're good for your heart.