Why did the man bring a screwdriver on his first date?

He wanted to take things to the next level.

My therapist told me I need to be more present in the moment.

I told her sometimes I just can't help myself from coming early.

My ex always told me I had a head for business...

...which was confusing, because I was usually between her legs.

I went to a fancy wine tasting last night, and the sommelier was very particular about how we should enjoy the wine.

She kept saying, 'Swirl it gently, get your nose deep in the glass, and take a long, satisfying swallow.'