I've been practicing my Valentine's Day skills

by lovingly cooking a solo meal, and then arguing with myself over who left the dishes in the sink

What did the chocolate bar say to its sweetheart?

I'm nuts about you!

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Because you just landed on my foot, and I'm pretty sure I heard something crack.

I'm celebrating Valentine's Day this year by

reorganizing my Netflix queue into 'lonely nights' and 'even lonelier nights' categories.