They say Valentine's Day is all about a romantic dinner for two.

Which is great, because I always order enough takeout for two. The second person just happens to be my stretchy pants.

Do you have a map?

Because I just got lost in your eyes... and now I can't find my way to the chocolate aisle.

Do you have a Valentine's Day sweetheart?

Because you're a-maize-ing and I'm corny for you!

Why did the rose go to the party on Valentine's Day?

Because it was a blooming good time