Why did Cupid's arrow go to therapy?

Because it had a lot of 'pointed' issues to work through.

Are you a Valentine's Day time capsule?

Because you're someone I'd love to unwrap years from now.

What did the rose say to its Valentine?

I'm pollen in love with you!

They say diamonds are forever, and chocolate melts in your mouth, not in your hand...

...but my preferred Valentine's gift is a streaming service that doesn't ask 'Are you still watching?' because it *knows* I am.