What did the chocolate bar say to the truffle on Valentine's Day?

You make me melt!

This Valentine's Day, I'm celebrating true love...

...the love between me and an entire extra-large pizza.

This Valentine's Day, I'm planning a very intimate dinner...

...with someone who truly understands me: the delivery driver who already knows my order.

I'm reading a book on Valentine's Day traditions

Apparently, it's all about love, romance, and pretending to like overpriced dinners.