I've been dating a girl who's into erotic photography, and she asked me to pose for her.

Now I'm a model, but only in the classical sense – I'm only good for a few positions.

My wife always tells me I'm terrible at home improvement projects.

But last night, she said I was really good at handling a stud.

I've been dating a girl who's a professional cartographer, and she's always trying to map out our love life.

But honestly, I'm just trying to find the point of no return.

My girlfriend just bought a new pressure cooker.

She says she loves all the build-up, and then a good, controlled release.