Valentine's Day is just a yearly reminder...

...that I don't have to pretend to enjoy expensive prix fixe menus or tiny, overpriced chocolates.

My Valentine's Day plans are pretty simple this year.

I'm celebrating the profound joy of not having to pretend to be surprised by an overpriced bouquet.

Are you a calendar?

Because I'd love to date you, but I really need to check my schedule first.

Why did the flower go to the dance on Valentine's Day?

Because it was a blooming good time to find love