Are you a love potion?

Because I'm under your spell... and now I can't find my car keys.

What did one chocolate say to the other on Valentine's Day?

Let's truffle some feathers!

Why did the heart go to the art museum on Valentine's Day?

Because it was a masterpiece of love

People always ask me what my significant other is getting me for Valentine's Day.

My significant other is Amazon Prime, and they're getting me whatever I put in my cart at 2 AM last Tuesday.