Why did Cupid's arrow go to therapy?

Because it had a lot of 'pointed' issues to work through.

My Valentine's Day plans are pretty simple this year.

I'm celebrating the profound joy of not having to pretend to be surprised by an overpriced bouquet.

Do you have a map?

Because I keep getting lost in your eyes... and now I'm aimlessly wandering through the Valentine's Day candy aisle.

Excuse me, do you have a Band-Aid?

Because I just cut myself trying to open this Valentine's candy wrapper.