My wife told me she needed me to really get down and dirty tonight, handle something long and stiff, and then help her get it off.

She just wanted me to help her change the vacuum cleaner bag.

My girlfriend asked me what the difference was between me and a vibrator.

I told her, 'Well, I can make you breakfast the next morning.'

I've been dating a librarian, and she's always checking me out.

My girlfriend told me she wanted a man who was good with his hands, like a carpenter.

She said I spend too much time measuring and not enough time nailing.