What did the chocolate bar say to its Valentine?

I'm nuts about you!

Are you a Valentine's Day conversation heart?

Because you're making my heart skip a beat, and I think we'd be a match made in candy heaven

I've come to realize that my love life is like a recipe for disaster.

It's got all the right ingredients: loneliness, disappointment, and a pinch of desperation.

I've been trying to find the perfect Valentine's Day gift

but it's hard when the only person I'm shopping for is my cat, and all she wants is tuna