I'm not arguing that Valentine's Day is overrated, but

I just think it's a holiday created by florists and jewelers to make singles feel like they're in a real-life game of 'Monopoly' – paying rent, but no one's getting a free park.

Why did the rose go to the party on Valentine's Day?

Because it was a blooming good time

I've been trying to find the perfect Valentine's Day gift

but it's hard when the only person I'm shopping for is my cat, and all she wants is tuna

Are you a box of chocolates?

Because you're making my heart melt, and I think I just got a little nutty for you.