I'm not single on Valentine's Day, I'm just

in a long-distance relationship with my couch and Netflix.

Why did the heart go to the art museum on Valentine's Day?

Because it was a work of art to its soulmate

Why did the chocolate go to therapy on Valentine's Day?

Because it was feeling a little melted under the pressure

I told my friend I was planning a romantic Valentine's Day dinner

for one, with a movie, a pizza, and a strongly worded letter to my fridge for being empty