My piano teacher told me I needed to work on my fingering.

I said, "I'm trying, but not on a keyboard."

I've been dating a professional taxidermist, and she's been teaching me about the importance of stuffing and mounting

But honestly, it's been a real challenge to get her to relax her grip

My girlfriend told me she wanted a man who was good with his hands, like a carpenter.

She said I spend too much time measuring and not enough time nailing.

I matched with a girl on Tinder who said she was 'fluid' in her sexuality.

I thought, great, someone who finally understands my problem with premature ejaculation.