Why did the rose go to the party on Valentine's Day?

Because it was a blooming good time

Valentine's Day is when everyone celebrates finding their 'better half'.

I'm celebrating my 'better *alone* half' – the one who gets the whole couch and doesn't have to share snacks.

I'm reading a book on Valentine's Day history

It's a real page-turner, mainly because it's empty

Do you have a map?

Because I just got lost in your eyes, and now I can't find the Valentine's candy aisle.