I've been trying to find the perfect Valentine's Day gift

but it's hard when the only person I'm shopping for is my cat, and all she wants is tuna

I'm not saying I'm against Valentine's Day, but

I'm starting to think it's just a holiday where people pay more for the same restaurants and flowers they can get any other day

Why did the chocolate go to therapy on Valentine's Day?

Because it was feeling a little melted under the pressure

Are you Valentine's Day?

Because you've snuck up on me, and I still haven't bought any chocolates!