Are you a love potion?

Because I'm under your spell... and now I can't find my car keys.

Are you a Valentine's card?

Because you're covered in glitter... and now my whole house is too.

Do you have a Valentine's Day sweetheart?

Because you're a-maize-ing and I'm corny for you!

My Valentine's Day plans usually involve a very specific type of bouquet.

A pizza box, surrounded by breadsticks.