I saw a guy's Tinder bio that said 'Dog dad seeking same'

Like, are you looking for a girlfriend or a playdate for your bulldog?

I was running late for work and spilled coffee all over my shirt

So, I monologued to myself in the mirror, 'It's not just a stain, it's a metaphor for the chaos that is my life,' and then I walked out the door like I was in a Scorsese film.

I just spent twenty minutes drafting an email to a male colleague about a simple project update.

Not because the content was complex, but because I had to make sure I sounded collaborative, not bossy, and then added three exclamation points so I didn't seem cold.

I've started carrying a small emergency kit in my purse, complete with bobby pins, pain relievers, and a portable charger.

Because apparently, I'm not just a woman, I'm a disaster relief team.