My therapist told me I need to find healthy ways to de-stress and just 'be present.'

So I tried a guided meditation, but my brain spent the entire session mentally listing every chore I'd be neglecting by being present.

I just spent 20 minutes staring blankly at my fridge.

Not because I was hungry, but because I was calculating the optimal day to buy groceries based on expiring coupons, my work schedule, and the lunar cycle.

I spent all of Sunday morning meticulously meal-prepping, labeling containers, feeling like a domestic goddess of wellness.

By Tuesday evening, I was eating lukewarm cheese straight from the block, staring wistfully at those perfectly portioned quinoa bowls.

My phone just prompted me to 'Clear tabs and free up space.'

And I thought, 'Honey, if you could see the tabs open in my *brain* right now, you'd just give up and restart.'