My girlfriend told me I need to be more supportive in our relationship, really hold her up and be her rock.

I told her, 'Honey, I've been supporting you on my face for weeks now.'

My date told me she loved a man who could really handle his dough. She wanted me to come over and show her how I work it, get it nice and firm, and then help her make it rise.

We ended up baking bread for her charity bake sale.

My girlfriend told me she finds a man who can 'handle his wood' very attractive.

I guess I'd better learn some carpentry.

I matched with a girl on Tinder who said she was 'fluid' in her sexuality.

I thought, great, someone who finally understands my problem with premature ejaculation.