My financial advisor told me I really needed to diversify my assets.

I told him, 'Don't worry, I already have a very well-rounded portfolio.'

I've been dating a professional archer, and she's been teaching me about the importance of proper form and follow-through.

Now I know why she's always hitting the mark, but missing the point.

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to really work on my penetration.

I told her I thought I had that covered, but if she wanted me to try a new financial market, I was open to it.

I've been dating a professional geologist, and she's been teaching me about the different types of rocks and how they're formed.

But honestly, I'm more interested in the fault lines in her personality and how they affect our relationship.