My art teacher told me I needed to really 'work on my finishing techniques' to get a better grade.

She said my pieces were always 'too quick' and lacked 'depth'.

I've been dating a girl who's into bondage, and I have to say, it's been a real commitment.

I've been taking private lessons from a professional clockmaker

and she's been teaching me how to wind people up

I've been dating a girl who's a talented baker, and she's always trying to get me to rise to the occasion.

But honestly, I think she's just kneading the attention.