I've been taking private lessons from a skilled arborist, and she's been teaching me how to prune with precision, really get to the root of the problem, and help me branch out in new ways.

Now I'm able to penetrate even the densest foliage.

My financial advisor told me I need to be more aggressive with my assets...

...and diversify my portfolio by spreading it around.

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her 'knight in shining armor' in the bedroom.

So I showed up in full plate mail and spent the next hour trying to figure out how to get my dick out.

I've been dating a professional archer, and she's been teaching me about the importance of proper form and follow-through.

Now I know why she's always hitting the mark, but missing the point.