I've been dating a professional gemologist, and she's been teaching me about the importance of clarity and brilliance in our relationship.

But honestly, I'm just looking for someone with a little more cut to them.

I've been taking private lessons from a skilled arborist, and she's been teaching me how to prune with precision, really get to the root of the problem, and help me branch out in new ways.

Now I'm able to penetrate even the densest foliage.

I've been dating a girl who's a professional taxidermist, and she's always trying to get me to mount something that's been dead for a while.

Why did the couple bring a magnet on their anniversary date?

They wanted to attract some old sparks.