My wife told me she needed me to really get down and dirty tonight, handle something long and stiff, and then help her get it off.

She just wanted me to help her change the vacuum cleaner bag.

I've been seeing a professional pastry chef, and she's been instructing me on the art of filling and decorating delicate pastries.

Now I'm able to rise to the occasion and give her a satisfying finish.

I've been dating a librarian, and she's always checking me out.

My girlfriend told me she wanted to try some 'kinky stuff' in the bedroom last night. She pulled out a blindfold, some ropes, and a feather duster.

I asked her, 'So, are we having sex, or are you just finally going to clean that dust bunny under the bed that's been watching us?'