My girlfriend asked me why I spend so much time on market research.

I told her I just really believe in customer satisfaction.

My wife always tells me I'm terrible at home improvement projects.

But last night, she said I was really good at handling a stud.

My girlfriend told me I need to be more supportive in our relationship, really hold her up and be her rock.

I told her, 'Honey, I've been supporting you on my face for weeks now.'

My ex always told me I had a head for business...

...which was confusing, because I was usually between her legs.