I'm celebrating Valentine's Day this year by

reorganizing my Netflix queue into 'alone and happy' categories.

Are you a calendar?

Because I'd love to date you, but I really need to check my schedule first.

Are you a Valentine's Day time capsule?

Because you're someone I'd love to unwrap years from now.

Why did the chocolate go to therapy on Valentine's Day?

Because it was feeling a little melted under the pressure