Some people spend Valentine's Day searching for their soulmate.

I'm just trying to decide if my soulmate is the pizza delivery guy or the remote control.

I love how on Valentine's Day, restaurants add a special surcharge

for being lonely together

Are you a Valentine's Day heart-shaped balloon?

Because you're inflating my expectations of love and I don't want you to pop out of my life.

Why did the rose go to the party on Valentine's Day?

Because it was a blooming good time