I'm reading a book on Valentine's Day history

It's a real page-turner, mainly because it's empty

My ideal Valentine's Day involves a long, loving relationship...

...with my remote control and a very large pizza.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Or should I walk by again? I think I forgot where I parked.

Why did the chocolate go to therapy on Valentine's Day?

Because it was feeling a little melted under the pressure