I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away...

...trying to read the tiny print on this candy heart.

Why did the chocolate chip cookie propose on Valentine's Day?

Because it finally found its chipmate!

Why did the heart go to the doctor on Valentine's Day?

Because it had a few heartaches to work through and wanted a love-ly checkup

I've been trying to find my perfect match on dating apps

but so far, it's just been a series of swipes, disappointment, and proof that my friends were wrong when they said I'm a catch