I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away...

...trying to read the tiny print on this candy heart.

I've been practicing my Valentine's Day skills

by lovingly cooking a solo meal, and then arguing with myself over who left the dishes in the sink

Why did the rose go to the florist on Valentine's Day?

Because it wanted to get to the root of its love life!

Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine?

Because you're a snack... and now I'm out of quarters for my Valentine's Day coffee.