You must be tired,

because you've been running through my mind all day... probably looking for the best deals on Valentine's Day gifts.

Valentine's Day is when everyone celebrates finding their 'better half'.

I'm celebrating my 'better *alone* half' – the one who gets the whole couch and doesn't have to share snacks.

Is your dad a baker?

Because you're a cutie pie... and I was hoping he had some leftovers for Valentine's Day!

Why did the rose go to the florist on Valentine's Day?

Because it wanted to get to the root of its love life!