Why did the rose go to the party on Valentine's Day?

Because it was a blooming good time!

Are you a Valentine's card?

Because you make my heart flutter... and also, you're probably going to shed glitter everywhere.

My Valentine's Day plans are pretty romantic, actually.

It involves me, a blanket, and a very serious, committed relationship with my takeout menu.

I'm not saying I'm against Valentine's Day, but

I'm starting to think it's just a holiday where people pay more for the same restaurants and flowers they can get any other day