They say Cupid's arrow is supposed to strike you with love on Valentine's Day.

Mine must have taken a detour and hit my Amazon cart instead. Because I'm deeply in love with two-day shipping.

Do you have a map?

Because I just got lost in your eyes... and now I can't find my way to the chocolate aisle.

You must be tired,

because you've been running through my mind all day... probably looking for the best deals on Valentine's Day gifts.

I'm not arguing that Valentine's Day is overrated, but

I just think it's a holiday created by florists and jewelers to make singles feel like they're in a real-life game of 'Monopoly' – paying rent, but no one's getting a free park.