I've been dating a girl who's into bondage, and I have to say, it's been a real commitment.

I've been dating a girl who's really into role-playing in the bedroom

But honestly, I'm getting a little tired of being the defendant

My wife told me she was having a really tough time getting anything to stand up properly. She said she needed something big, firm, and long-lasting to really fill the void and give her the support she'd been craving.

So I bought her a new bookshelf.

My wife told me she wants me to 'go all night' in the bedroom.

I told her, 'Honey, I barely make it through the opening credits without falling asleep, let alone the director's cut.'