I've been married for a few years now, and I've learned that the key to a happy marriage is

separate bathrooms, and not just because of the toilet paper roll thing.

Marriage is like a recipe for your favorite dish

it starts out sweet, gets a little messy, but in the end, it's all about the ingredients you put into it, and these two have all the right ingredients

My wife and I have a flawless system for deciding what to watch on TV.

I suggest five shows, she vetoes them all, and then we watch whatever she was already planning to watch.

I've been trying to figure out the secret to a long and happy marriage, so I asked the groom to share his wisdom

He just smiled and said, 'Love, trust, and separate bathrooms'