I've been dating a girl who's a professional sausage maker, and she's always trying to get me to help her stuff the casing.

They say men fantasize about having sex with multiple women.

And women fantasize about having sex with *one* man who doesn't need directions.

I told my girlfriend I was thinking of taking up a new instrument.

She said, 'Why? You already have one, and you barely know how to play it yet.'

I've been dating a girl who's into bondage, and I have to say, it's been a real commitment.