My cooking instructor always emphasized the importance of proper preparation.

He said you need to tenderize your meat thoroughly before you really pound it.

Why did the man name his dick 'Cashew'?

Because every time he got excited, it went nuts.

I told my date I was an avid explorer.

She said, 'Oh really? So you're good at finding hidden passages and going deep into unknown territory?'

My career counselor said I needed to figure out how to get ahead in life.

I told her I thought I was already quite proficient at it.