I've been trying to find the perfect Valentine's Day gift

but it's hard when the only person I'm shopping for is my cat, and all she wants is tuna

Why did the chocolate go to therapy on Valentine's Day?

Because it was feeling a little melted under the pressure

I'm starting to think that Valentine's Day is just a social experiment

to see how many people we can convince to pay triple for flowers and dinner

Are you a Valentine's Day greeting card?

Because you have a special delivery to my heart!